I have a hate-love relation with Armenia. Since the moment the plane landed in Yerevan’s airport, I lost my ability to think rationally. Now, I am having contradictory feelings: hate, love, sadness, anger, happiness, pride, shame, pity…I feel I am floating in the air. I feel lost.
One day, in a disco, a drunk Armenian guy told me: “Armenia is out of standards; it is like nowhere; it is out of standards; stay in here”. His statement stuck in my mind. From the moment I met the drunk guy up until now, when I am sitting in my bed in Tehran, I am thinking of the same statement. Now that I am back in Tehran, I feel like I am missing whatever I had detested during my stay in Armenia.
The most I am missing is the man who cursed me and my friends for walking in street after 1AM. A "good" woman is not supposed to walk in streets late at night. That is the tradition. Women from diaspora (like us) break the norm. We are the outsiders…we are the others….and I feel the sweetness and bitterness of being the other in my homeland…
I love and I hate Armenia… it is like nowhere…
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I kinda think the hated Armenias part has nothing to do only with women. I hate as well, but not only for women, for myself as well.
ReplyDelete